i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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