And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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