dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
