barbara walters just said penis...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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