where am i from again
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
