are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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