its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
is it fun? or sober?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
