I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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