eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
