So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
