Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
