Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
