It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
