So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
