yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My ass is underappreciated
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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