This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
