she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
