Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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