It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
My bed smells like the plague
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
