True but thats because hes a fetus.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
