We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
