If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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