i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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