1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Is Oprah even human
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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