...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
