fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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