thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
