definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
