I am in a vortex of obligation.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
