So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She even gives head with a lisp.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
