My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
That accounts for only three of the penises
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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