At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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