she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
