so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
