Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
So. Much. Porn.
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