were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
