Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
