we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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