I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
