Just invented taco cereal.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
