There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
