Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
