I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
