Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
