I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
