problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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