is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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