i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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