ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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