Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
