I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
