Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Blood and glitter go together right?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
